What I Love

I feel energized.

This afternoon I made myself a latte, grabbed a couple of cookies, and settled down with the laptop for a several hour planning session.

For Sierra Leone this summer I will be co-leading the reading inservice that is focusing on the process of teaching reading so that true comprehension can take place. I am very excited about it. When Sarah first mentioned the trip to me I was interested, but when she talked about the need for reading training, I felt called to go.

And I can truly say I have loved sitting down and typing out detailed outlines for each of the days. Maybe it's because I'm not typing "fluff" but am trying to succinctly type out what I believe are the most important ideas to communicate. Or maybe it's because I am actually getting to use my brain to decide what I need to teach. That's one of the things that excited me to teach in college- I loved creating lesson plans. (Yes they were all going to take place in the world's perfect classroom, but hey, bureaucracy and NCLB had yet to drown that hope.)

I guess over the last two years I have found myself getting burned out. I have found myself being told what to say and when to say it. I have found that data (while good) trumps all teacher judgment. I have found creativity has little place in the classroom. And after a long day, I then go to the reputable news site or pick up a magazine and read about how awful teachers are.

That's why I always volunteer for writing social studies plans. For 2o minutes a day, I can try and squeeze in some experiences for my children that I can research and plan. Not that curriculum is bad. I guess I just thought creativity was a desirable quality in a teacher. Instead, I am trying to not just "rote"ly count down the days until summer.

But for Sierra Leone planning, I have felt alive. I have loved opening up reading texts and reading them in-depth, using research to pull the important things. I have loved dialogging with Sarah about her experiences and what she believes is needed. I have loved using my brain to try and squeeze in everything that is important. I have loved using my creativity to plan relevant training. I have loved seeking God for the grace to plan.

On days like today, I feel born to teach. And I'll hold onto the hope that at some schools, it can be different....